I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
