Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize