"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
