She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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