2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
