Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
