Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
