I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
