How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
