We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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