It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Found your dick twin last night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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