Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
