how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
