it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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