How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
