I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
