I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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