is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
