Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
