I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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