If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
