No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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