did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
