guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
