I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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