i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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