I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
