It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
