I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
