break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's always time for handjobs
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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