Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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