just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
