Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
