Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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