It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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