if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I skipped work to stalk him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
