He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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