woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
