you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
