Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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