It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can text with my tongue
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
