Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
