Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
