It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
