I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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