i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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