Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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