I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I party with great urgency now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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