Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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