He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
