I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
