make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
