know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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