if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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