Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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