I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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