Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
